If You Take a Man Shoe Shopping..
Disclaimer: before you read this account of my weekend adventures, keep in mind me and Hubster are approaching our 22nd anniversary and I’m not interested in any trade ins.
Wednesday morning. Me: “Your family’s reunion is in two weeks. We’re going shoe shopping for you this weekend.” Hubster, registering look of panic (about which of the two topics I introduced I’m not sure) responds “Looks like the flowers out front need water” and runs away.
Day before Show Shopping: I line up his old pairs of shoes. Me: “You need 3 new pairs of shoes: work shoes, casual shoes and sandals. Yes I have a coupon for the discount shoe warehouse.” Hubster: “They’ll all look fine with some new polish.” Me: “No bueno. You’re getting new shoes.”
Day of! Cue dramatic music: Husband supplies a fresh pair of socks for the process. We arrive at the discount shoe warehouse. I escort him to the men’s section. Me: “Look at these chukka boots and oxfords.” Hubster, like a homing pigeon, returns to the same style and color of previous purchases. I slither to the women’s side of the store. I don’t need to explain or justify myself, you ladies understand. I’m here. I have to see what they have. Result: Hubster purchases dress shoes and casual shoes. Success! I don’t find anything I like. Success or failure? You decide.
Warning…Rocks Ahead: Being late June, the shoe warehouse has no acceptable sandals.
Loin Girding Commences: We drive to REI (this is not a commercial for them but to let you know I’m serious about the sandal replacement issue). We agree he needs a new a pair of name brand sandals. Arrive at REI which thank God is located five minutes away from the last stop. Me: You know what you need. I’ll sit here and catch up on cat memes on Facebook.” Hubster enters store. Within 2 minutes he returns. Me: “They don’t have your size?” Hubster: “They are $110.00. I’m not spending that.” Me: “Yes you are. “ Hubster: “I’ll look for some on sale.” Me: “You need them now. Do you need me to come in with you?” Hubster: Big Sigh. Shoulders Slump. Resignation sets in. Hubster returns to store but returns within fifteen minutes with sandals purchased. And in a new color! Hooray.
Time for lunch. I’m ready for many wines.
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Jennifer Hilt | Paranormal Romance & Urban Fantasy Author
The Undead Detective